Friday, November 16, 2007 ;
6:09 PM
JokesBe it dirty or not...JUZ LAUGH OUT LOUD MAN~SMART ASSFirst-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"
Harry answered,"I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had now had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave.
She agreed.Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What do you have in your pants that I do not have in mine?"
The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!?
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms. Brooks: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut"
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: "Bubble gum"
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: "Shake hands"
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck" T
he principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong."
SON OF A BIT**Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bit**."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bit**?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "But father he has AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BIT**!!!"
100 BUCKS FOR SEXJohnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office... but she belonged to someone else...
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you..." but the girl said, "NO."
Johnny said, "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up." She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... so she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for $200 then pick up the money very fast... he won't even be able to get his pants down. She agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened...
She said, "The bastard used cents !"
lol....[L]egendz
light my path ♥
